Time Flies When You’re Not Looking…

Posted on May 6, 2007

Oh my…has it been 4 days now that I haven’t written anything her in this new blog of mine? The blog that I was so obsessed about? Doesn’t it feel like I have lost enthusiasm in it? It probably does…but do I feel that way? Probably not…

Now let’s see, it has been SUCH a hectic 13 days all in all, what with having exams and having to confront with some personal problems I had. Exams are exams be. They’re either hard or they’re easy and these exams, I would place them in “Eh?” At first you’d think it would be hard and then when you enter to do it, you read the questions and go “I remember reading this!!” and not long after, you’d go “OMG, how am I suppose to word this properly?” so truly, it’s very confusing -sighs-

And then it was all over…and now I have OTHER matters to think of…The first would be my ex boyfriend. Lately he’s been moody and down although I wished he would just cheer up and stuff…I really don’t like seeing him sad and the MAIN reason for him being down is that he had some kind of disease…well, we were talking about this cousins when all of a sudden we’re talking about kids and how he won’t be able to have any now. I asked him “Why’s that?” and he told me that few years back, he did oral with a girl and now he’s re-seeing some symptoms that disappeared before and he just went on and on about how I’d wouldn’t want him now and he wouldn’t be surprised and how he said it was “Okay.”

With that, my instinct was to hug him…but how can I hug him? I couldn’t. Not when the him I’m talking to is in Texas and we’re both using only MSN to communicate…GAWD!! I’m so in and out of love with him D: (meaning my feelings turns on and off day by day…) and I can’t bear it when he’s like this…but he’s braving himself to me, I know that and that’s why I love him so much >_<!!!

Another thing is, a guy I used to know and had went out with for ONE time recently SMS me again and the thing is, he wants to meet me again saying that he misses me. What he doesn’t know however, is that I’m WAY fatter now xD!!!! And to tell you the truth, I kinda missed him too. Maybe cause I’ve been alone physically so long that I need someone close to actually be near me and whom I can lock eyes with…however, this is making me feel so very guilty since it will be like I’m using both of them for my own purpose and they wouldn’t know each other seeing as my ex is in Texas, USA and the guy I missed is here in Malaysia…

So now I’m like, not sure what to do. Accept my ex back into my life or start over…Tis a hard decision it is…

Oh yea, before I forget, tomorrow I’m ~~getting kidnapped~~ going to Times Square to celebrate our beginning of holidays!!! Yea, 4 months have come and gone and now it’s the semester break again before we pass through the threshold of our 2nd year in University >_<!!!

So be prepared to read more of my rantings, ramblings and whatever here more now that I’m back ^_-!!!!

» Filed Under Family & Other Relationships, Rants & Whatever