Excited Out Of My Mind!

Posted on May 15, 2007

Omg, I feel so giddy, giddy with excitement and anticipation. So much so that I itch everywhere! There’s like this insane itch under my skin that demands to be scratched but I just can’t seem to touch it. It feels so close yet I can’t get rid of this itch!!

It feels like…like…I have a PURPOSE again! I just don’t know how to describe it…it’s like…I feel useful and I have a reason again to continue on. It’s so insane that I feel myself smiling and want to laugh out loud but I couldn’t because people would think I’m insane and my cat would look at me with his “What the hell?” look.

Yet, under all these excited feelings, I feel like I may fail again…I feel like somehow things would just fall apart and I would be a failure and would lose my way again. As if I was destined to fail from the very beginning.

But to say the least, this giddiness is overshadowing my doubts. I’m not sure if this is good or bad because it could still lead to my downfall if I don’t think it through…what a dilemma! But before that, I want to just keep this giddiness alive to stop me from worrying about him and build up the plans I have before he comes back and surprise him with it :3

I’ll talk more about this issue later on when I get it sorted out. Till then, I’m out~

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