Humans…

Posted on May 28, 2007

Life is like a game, no? I think so. Life is sometimes cruel and also sometimes great. Sometimes we make bad choices and sometimes good ones. In a game, you always start out as a newbie, a novice, the new guy and then you gradually earn experience points and level up, becoming more and more powerful.

In life, we start out as innocent little babies, then gradually, we grow up, we’re taught to crawl, to walk, to run, to stand, to sit, to talk, to potty-train, to make the right decision, to say “Pa-pa!” and “Ma-ma!“, to learn languages, math, science and basic knowledges, to learn how to socialize with people, to make friends, to earn money, to get a partner in life, to pro-create, to grow old gracefully, to die…

And this goes on and on and on, everything is repeated in the cycle of life. In a game, you are an immortal being, you kill or be killed. And you’re killed, respawn yourself and get revenge! This is somewhat the same thing we have going in life, a life for a life; a body for a body and so on. We humans are delicate beings. We get frustrated at the slightest things. We see everything as a half. It’s either half full or half empty. There is no way about it.

Humans are rather silly too! They say they aren’t judgmental nor racist, but it’s blatantly obvious that they’re just contradicting themselves because they prefer to think that they are the perfect person; that no one else is like they are and that they are ultimately, unique.

Honestly? I think I’m BOTH perfect and imperfect. I have flaws, I don’t doubt that but I have perfect ideals too. Maybe that’s what makes me perfect to me. Like everybody else, I think I’m kind, useful, “motherly”, a good daughter, a good sister, a good girlfriend and whatever good. However, that is what I think in my ideal world. In this less than ideal world, I think of it as gray, everything I thought I am are actually the opposite of what I want to be…

Don’t mind my needless babbling…a friend of mine told me yesterday that I’m doing this sort of self-torturing cause I’m missing Alex. True, I miss Alex a lot. He’s in the army in Israel and I’m worried about him. But I feel that isn’t it…I’m just feeling frustrated at the world now and I have reasons to do it too…I just can’t say why yet…

Why am I thinking this? Why am I torturing myself? Why is everything to me, needs to be analyzed? Why? Why? WHY?!?!?!

Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t know. I know myself as much as I don’t know myself. I’m like half an open library and half the restricted section. I wished I knew more about myself…but why learn everything when I can do it slowly and be amused for the rest of my life?

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