Do We Care More?
Posted on June 26, 2007
Ever wondered who cared the most? For the first time, today, I have. Why so? Because it was mentioned in class today.
Today in class, the lecturer asked us “Do we care more now or less?” and she asked this regarding the elderly. Thinking on this, I realized I haven’t been doing my side of the work. As a granddaughter and a daughter. As a granddaughter, I haven’t been going to my grandparents’ house during the Sundays like I used to a few years back…I realized that I have been only going there when it benefits me…like Chinese New Year, for example…or when it’s someone’s birthday, like my Grandpa (We usually go out to a restaurant to celebrate). But does this mean I care any less for my grandparents? I don’t think so. I care for them like have always cared for them. If there weren’t any language barrier, I’d bet that we’d get along REALLY well. Can’t really mention the grandparents on my mom’s side…they’re both gone =/
What about my parents? I absolutely love them. No joke there. I might not be the ideal daughter and such but my love for my parents is deeply engraved in me, I don’t think I could have loved them anymore. Yet…when my lecturer told us “The elderly usually opt for going to the elderly homes is usually due to the fact that they’re alone at home because their ofsprings are too busy working in life and they’d get better company at the elderly homes.”
On this, I would say that it works both ways. When the kids are young, the parents would work hard and diligently to provide for the family so that their children would get a good education and so on. After the children have grown up, they in turn would work hard to support THEIR families and the parents so that they’d live a comfortable life and the cycle goes on and on.
But let’s not put any blame on others. I admit, sometimes we tend to see what’s around us and not what’s in front of us. We tend to miss the important things that need to be noticed to putting more importance on immaterial things that would be useless in terms of companionship and friendship and love.
I feel that I’ve neglected lots of stuff since I was a child but there’s no way I can turn the time back and do it over…however, I can take the initiative now to do what is right…yes…I believe it’s time for me to do that, after realizing all the things that have been taken for granted…seriously, I don’t think any of us would be here today without someone to care about us and love us…
Time is a cruel thing. Better to take charge now than put it off until later when you’ll regret…Say “I love you” to people close to you today and everyday…you may not know when those people close to you would leave you to the other plane. By then, regretting just don’t make the cut…
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4 Responses to “Do We Care More?”
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I wonder if perhaps the issue isn’t with caring “more” or “less”… but perhaps with whether people WANT to care for the older generation anymore? I know it’s mean… but I personally wouldn’t want to be stuck taking care of my grandparents and parents when I’m older and more successful. Of course caring for them IS the right thing to do and I know it. And in the end, someone has to do it, whether it’s you or another sibling or even if they’re sent to a retirement home, someone has to visit regularly right? I know my MIL (mother in law) is absolutely adamant she will not set foot in a retirement home or village. There are many “village communities” around now where each person has their own house (not studio apartment) where they can hang out with other elderly people You cannot purchase one of these houses unless you’re over 50 yrs, and if u choose to rent out a room, you still need to be the primary tenant. I always feel those are a good idea, they retain their independence. But what if, like in the case of MIL, your elder WANTS to be cared for, but my a family member? and what if they want a specific family member? *doom*
I’m just rambling… lalalala
My main point in my previous comment is that, perhaps people don’t really wanna be holding responsibility of having their own family as well as having to care for parents and grandparents.
Perhaps being busy is just an excuse…
Perhaps…
It’s true that nowadays, custom traditions such as “Take care of the elderly” has flown out the window. However, not entirely. Different people have different views on what “Taking care of those you love” ever since forever.
Some may perceive that their parents/grandparents would prefer to live in leisure or perhaps they want immaterial items now that they can shed off the responsibility of working their ass off and relax and do the things they want to do.
Yes, someone has to do it. But who better to do it than the children they have brought into the world, the children they have showered love upon, the children who have before, depended on them. Most of the time, we all see parents’ love as unconditional. But is it?
To me, I don’t think I want to be left aside by my own flesh and blood and thought of as a burden. I want to know what is happening and how they’re going through life, sometimes, I’d just want to be part of solution to a problem. To help them in their time of need.
However, this is my own world view and nobody can really say my opinion is wrong or that yours is all perfect. Isn’t that what makes us all human?
We create our own schedule. If we’re too busy, it’s because we’re taking on too much or that we WANT to be busy.
How we manage time is entirely up to us.
Thus, being busy will always and forever be…an excuse.