Another day, another tear…

Posted on July 28, 2007

The last day of the mid-terms, a day to rejoice. Sadly, I wasn’t celebrating with the rest…somehow, the mood just wasn’t right for me today…I barely said 50 words today and couldn’t even muster the ability to smile when people left right and center was smiling at me with happiness radiating in their faces…

Sad to say, as their happy, cheery face laid their eyes upon my gloomy, moody face, their happiness dissipated momentarily…

As if this weren’t bad enough, I asked my mom to fetch me, she couldn’t thus asking my brother to fetch me, he couldn’t so I had to walk…before that, smiling friends all around me were walking in and out of the University foyer, merrily talking to each other as my melancholy face looked upon them, hoping to join in, wanting to, but couldn’t…

People who knew me, thought I was waiting for a ride, which I was until my brother had to take his friend home…after they left from my sight, I started walking…I didn’t want them to know I was walking instead of waiting for my ride…I just didn’t have the mood to stand and wait…

And walked I did, today, the tears wouldn’t come for I did not allow myself to think about anything other than trying to avoid getting killed on the road. Nothing was in my head today, nothing to remember on, nothing to see past…

As I reached home, my head, still empty, started monologuing with my weeping heart…

“How are you today thy heart of mine?”

“Sad…so very sad…”

“And why are you sad, dear heart?”

“Because I’m lonely…”

“Why are you lonely, poor heart?”

“Because…because…because…I don’t know…”

“It’s okay my poor sad heart…I understand…for I am as sad, lonely, confused, and lost as you…”

After having tasteless lunch, I went to the salon I usually go to to have my hair cut. And it’s now all bald-like…well…not really…it’s just short now…and that is the truth…and after appraising my new hairstyle, I came back home and am now posting this here post…

Anyone looking at me now would think of me as a ice queen, emotionless and heartless, nothing could be conveyed by just looking into my face…nothing…

I wish I could say the same for my weeping, broken heart…

» Filed Under Life Issues & Truth, Rants & Whatever, University