Friendless
Posted on August 26, 2007
Doesn’t it feel depressing when out of nowhere, you just feel terribly alone? Like as if, all your friends you’ve known your whole life just leaves you?
It’s feels really sad when one day, you find that the friends you usually hang with have other people to hang with and you’re just left all alone, doing nothing all day long.
You suddenly realized that your social life revolves around these few friends and when they leave, you feel all alone and pitiful. Feeling sorry for yourself, you act like it doesn’t bother you at all but indeed, it’s killing you on the inside.
Your friends tend to ask you out but forgets to follow up. You ask them to go out but they promptly let you down or say that they have plans. Your friends then smiled at their upcoming outings together as if their in on a secret that you will never be in on.
When a friend asked you about ever feeling alone, you laugh and tend to shrug it off thinking that you should start breaking away from them, to keep emotionally detached to avoid feeling lonely.
So day by day, you smile and smile at what they say and do but inside, you’re slowly cutting yourself away. You tend to avoid them and not to see them so that it’s easier to cut off the friendship when the time comes.
And then reality strikes when you realized that you and those friends you cutting ties with are going to be stuck for another 2 years of long hard days that you find that it’s hard to run away. So you deal with it.
Day by day, you smile when they tell you about THEIR outings, who they were with and what they were doing and they ask you about yours and you smiled and said that you haven’t went out with others in a long time, only with your family and your friends becomes quiet for a while before going back to THEIR stories.
Somehow you don’t think that it’s really fair at all. You feel like slapping them in the face just to make them shut up. To make a point that YOU don’t want to hear THEIR stories and tell them to fuck off. But no, you continue to smile.
What would you do if this person was you? Would you do as I did? Or would you do absolutely the opposite?
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2 Responses to “Friendless”
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Jess…I saw…I realized…I felt that something has gone wrong when you just disappeared totally for weeks. How I wished I could just turn back the clock to the day that I was energetic and jumping around happily. How I wished that I would not be sick for so long that I will be able to come here at the root of your loneliness before it erupted until this stage. How I wished I could be there to listen, comfort and advise you when you are down.
Do not forget. Everything that happens has its own reasons. Friends are just temporary measurements for you to pull through in your life. It is not that you do not have friends at all. You have a lot out there but you tend to over filter your group of friends until you have practically no one left that suit your need. There is no such thing as someone that is 100% perfect to your likings. No one is perfect unless he is God himself. There is no point of you being a recluse too because of being rejected/not invited to certain events. There are still more to come ahead.
For me loneliness do not exist in my vocabulary. On and off, I might or might not have friends calling me out for outings. Even though I was invited, it also did not mean that I will accept their invitations. Sometimes, I did feel that having some time of my own is more worthwhile. Firstly, it did save me time and money. Secondly, I will not be committed to anyone and I have more free time to do my own things such as gaining more knowledge and researching for useful blog
articles.
Loneliness depends on how we handle it tactfully and openly. Why hide from others the truth when you could just tell them directly that you are lonely because no one ever invited you to be in part of their outings. Directness is important. Hiding yourself from reality does not help you at all. You become more stressful for you actions. I am sure you regretted not telling them the truth now, right?
Jess…do not forget that you are not alone. There are still people out that who care and concern about your welfare. It lies only within yourself whether you want to open up and share that feelings of yours with them or not. I will be here if you need a person to talk to. You can email me or just msn me and I will get back to you soonest possible.
Take care ya and be strong. This is not the ending of everything. Life has to go on and hiding away surely would not help. Have a good day then!
Hey Jess, be strong ok? I know exactly how you feel, because I’ve been there, friends… no friends… loneliness… wanting to be alone… feeling alone even though you’re surrounded by people who seem to be friends… breaking ties and making new friends and maybe later on re-acquainting yourself with old friends… it’s all part of life and growing up. We all move on after a while.
What Criz said is exactly right, no one suits ALL of our needs 100%… I have certain people I wanna be with when i just want to have a talk over coffee, a different friend if i don’t wanna eat alone but don’t wanna hang out, another friend if i feel like a party… that’s just the way people are jess.
If you ever need someone to chit chat with and while away the lonely hours… Criz is always online >.