What a little makeup can do…
Posted on July 19, 2007
Before :
After :
You can’t really see much of the makeup cause all I added was eyeliner and lipstick lol.
Look at my smirking look 
Omg seriously…makeup makes a whole lot of difference on me when I have them on!! Oh yea, I do wear glasses you know but not for long! I’m gonna get a pair of contact lenses this weekend. You know, the ones that lasts about a month? Yea…it’s only for a trial period though just to see if I wanna wear the contacts or do I wanna go back to wearing my glasses…we’ll see 
Note : I’m sorry about the blurness…using a non cyber shot/digital camera you know…just a 2.5 megapixel handphone camera.
» Filed Under Rants & Whatever | 5 Comments
On Break!!
Posted on July 18, 2007
Dear Readers,
As of this moment, this blogger will be on break from the blogging scene (this also means no shouting in ShoutOut…) from this day onwards until the end of July. The answer is truly simple, this blogger is overworked, with assignments, exams, studies and what not; sleep deprived, experiencing premature aging, back and neck aches and many other symptoms of being too busy.
However, do not fret, this blogger will still blog from time to time whenever time is of convenience, as a matter of fact, I now owe two tags and a movie review. I shall attempt to do these tasks during a prelude in my busy semester.
In addition to that, this blogger is experiencing moodiness in the form of anger, frustration, depression, negativity, jealousy, envy, and all emotions that represent the bad. So please beware of future uncalled for snaps and anger in any bloggings. “My feelings are reflected in my bloggings” is what I say.
So goodbye for now, dear readers for I shall now take my leave and go back to studying for an exam on the morrow.
Yours truly,
Jessica
The Stressed Beauty.
» Filed Under Announcements | Leave a Comment
Outing With Vicky
Posted on July 15, 2007
Went out with my friend, Lay Ying a.k.a. Vicky, to One Utama yesterday, which is also a Saturday to watch Harry Potter…I’ll give you a FULL review later on right after this post.
Like usual, we were so excited to watch the new Harry Potter movie as well as dreading the way they are going to present the movie, like they did with all the others…never following the storyline and changing it for the worst…
Well, first things first, I fell asleep here and there watching the Harry Potter movie…and I don’t get how some people around me could laugh throughout the movie, with the exception of the not so funny parts that is.
Well anyways part of the reason I slept was because I haven’t slept in two days before going to the movie due to last minute assignment again, was practically on autopilot man!!
Anyways, during the movie, I suffered cause the movie wasn’t all that great, the people were acting stupid all around me by pretending that the movie was great, the seat was too comfortable but the length of the boring movie made my butt had to endure long hours of butt pain trying to stay seated instead of standing and booing at the movie and leave.
After we left, we started to take pictures hahahahaha. So here goes lol.
Look!! A Harry Potter wannabe!!
Awww, the sister wannabe a Harry Potter wannabe too!
Both the kids were forced to wear the glasses, originally, they didn’t have it…sorry la the photo a bit blur and not focused at all. But then again, this phone’s camera sucks, gonna own a digital camera soon, so be patient with the blurness lol.
Camwhores!!
Awww…what a cute couple!
Candid shot taken while going down the escalator.
Camwhoring a bit after watching the movie hahaha. We took these pictures at the Golden Screen Village part of the new wing.
After that, we went off to the old wing, the Jusco supermarket just to browse around to see if there was anything worth buying and we saw this…!
Omg!! Rocky heaven!!
Rows and rows and rows of Rocky!!
I have now seen the rocky mountain!! *_*
Why just spam when you can EAT Spam?!
After looking here and there and buying sushi and Tako Tao, we went towards the food court, too bad I don’t have anymore pictures cause my phone’s battery died…however, I shall steal some from my friend later on.
So we ate and ate while we talked and chatted. After that, we went back home lol. Nothing much to say there. And without pictures, the mood just isn’t there -sighs-
Last but not least, the camwhoring blogger ending her blog update
» Filed Under Outings | 2 Comments
Where’s my inspiration and brain gone to?!
Posted on July 12, 2007
Would you not help me find this brain please? Possibility of it taken by a brain eating zombie is at a all time high.
Save the innocent brain from being eaten alive! (I myself prefer well done )
Possible location of my runaway Inspiration.
Would you all be a darling and fetch me my brain and inspiration please?
» Filed Under Bad News, Literature, Art & Graphics, Rants & Whatever | 4 Comments
Reminiscing the good, bad and the funny…
Posted on July 9, 2007
Months has passed now that I have gotten my own domain, my own hoster and a new blogging arena. Nothing has changed since the last time I have blogged in my old blog in wordpress.com. Oh how I miss the old times when I was blogging without any regards to worrying about when I need to update my wordpress or whether some hacker is hacking my blog or advertisements for that matter…life was simple back then. It could be again, but then, I would never learn, would I?
Well, today I am just going to bring up the good and the bad times I have had in the past in my old blog…good memories 
make me smile just reading back on it ^^
The GOOD : First Ever Hate Comment!
Was looking through my spam box in my Comments section in my Wordpress dashboard when I came upon this interesting spam comment :
excuse me, best blog of all time? Could you be more disgusting? A bitch like you, a beginner like you to be nominated? Hahahahahaha… you’re not even original, attention seeking whore. Laugh at yourself, call yourself a beauty? Then the man will have to cry because there ain’t any other beauties left. You just don’t know how to blog. Nevermind, I will still stalk on you!
by Nevermind My Name
Omg, when I saw this, I was laughing till I was practically rolling on the floor laughing with tears in my eyes. I mean, people, don’t you find this whole comment hilarious? I found it extremely hilarious and encouraging when I see this sort of comments.
When I found it, I pondered whether or not to leave it as a spam or just DE-SPAM it and let the whole world look at this immature fool (all this was done AFTER I have stopped myself from laughing…FORCED myself is more like XD) Anyway, what’s funny was the email and website she entered. Wanna know what it is? No, no, GUESS!!
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What? You haven’t a clue? Oh well, since I’m in such an awesome mood now, even if it’s like…4.12am now, I’ll clue you in
Name : Nevermind My Name
Email : Jessicais@Whore.com
Website : jessicatheundeniablewhore.comXD~ gawd, I really have to bow down to you for your “creative” ideas. Either that or your parents never taught you to be courteous to others
Have you ever heard of “Nobody is ever perfect“? Well of course you have seeing as you aren’t a saint yourself by trying to crush other people’s hopes and dreams. But I got to admit, I truly like your blatant and to-the-point painful comment. I seriously do.
You’re the first honest person to tell me “You suck, go die, bish!” You know what my reaction was?
Oh wow!! I have hate comment!! Yay!! My FIRST EVER!!! Omg!! This is TRULY a moment to cherish
Yes, that’s my reaction. Amazing huh? I feel like a damn jakun for reacting like that. But hey, it’s my first ever experience, need to act appropriately
Ok, no more laughing at the “Jess Hater“. Now I shall proceed to analyzing your comments.
excuse me, best blog of all time? Could you be more disgusting? A bitch like you, a beginner like you to be nominated?
Like you have said in this part of your comment. “A beginner like you to be nominated?” And yes, see the emphasis on the NOMINATED? So how could I be disgusting for what my friend, thought as a joke to nominated me using my blog description I had a long time ago. Indeed, HOW? Were you jealous that I got nominated and not you? -pats- Don’t be sad, maybe someone will nominate you…if they can find your BLOG!!! Hahahahahaha!!! -Wipes tears from eyes- Omg…I’m back to laughing uncontrollably again.
Ok, ok. WAIT!! I’m not done yet. “A bitch like you” and what makes you think you’re not one yourself, honey? I can’t help it if I am. But babes, I don’t deny it. Do you?
Hahahahahaha… you’re not even original, attention seeking whore.
Oh I’m eccentric all right. Do you fall asleep listening to rock music? I do. But that’s not the point here. Oh wait…it IS!! What makes you think I’m not an “Original“? Is anyone really “Original” nowadays? Let me point out to you that even if you are wearing a pair Vincci shoes, you’re already NOT an original. Why? Cause you’re wearing someone else’s style and everybody is wearing the same thing. So practically anything and everything you do ISN’T original. And besides, when have I ever said I was original, hmm? I said I was “Eccentric” not “Original”
Besides, I love attention. But never all the time. I only seek attention when I feel that I need to have some love showered upon me. And by posting this comment, aren’t you a “attention seeking whore” too?
Eccentric (adj.)
Departing from a recognized, conventional, or established norm or pattern.Eccentric (n.)
One that deviates markedly from an established norm, especially a person of odd or unconventional behavior.Original (adj.)
- Preceding all others in time; first.
- Not derived from something else; fresh and unusual
- Productive of new things or new ideas; inventive: an original mind.
- Being the source from which a copy, reproduction, or translation is made.Original (n.)
- A first form from which other forms are made or developed
- An authentic work of art
- Work that has been composed firsthand
- Archaic The source from which something arises; an originator.Unless you created the word “Original“, you’re not so original after all now, are you? NEXT!!!
Laugh at yourself, call yourself a beauty? Then the man will have to cry because there ain’t any other beauties left.
OHMUHGAH!! When did I say I was a beauty, honey? Never once did I mention I was a hot sexy chick did I? All I have is the name
Besides, with men now only looking at outer beauty, I doubt they’ll look at me and go “Oh Lord!! Don’t tell me SHE’S the beauty?!?!“. They’d probably go “Hey Jess” and I’d go “Hey
You just don’t know how to blog. Nevermind, I will still stalk on you!
If I didn’t know how to blog, I wouldn’t be replying to all your simple-minded statements now would I? I would probably slink away because you HAVE seen through my weakness. But NO!! I will not fall down at your feet and lick it just cause you’re an anonymous person and I’m “not“.
But then again, by all means, stalk me ^^ I’ll have the pleasure of dissecting your comments one by one. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed so much. Truly, I have only you to thank ^_^!! If you have anymore hateful comments, bring it on, honey, I’ll take you up on the challenge. I have no idea what’s your damage. But when insulting someone, you should have the decency to link me back to you D: I would truly love to know who you are.
And besides, I have your IP address, I could most definitely ask any of my computer majored pals to get Intel on you and find you ^^ but then again, I like the trill of an argument~
Oh oh!! Guess what, with you helping me, my stats will go up again. And that’s all thanks to you! MUAXS!!~ thanks~
PS : You can see where he/she placed the comment, right here! When he/she should be commenting on it here!! Can a person over-laugh? If you say yes, then I’ve done it XD~
PPS : I wonder if he/she will come back and reply? I so hope he/she does. Which would then prove my whole point ^^ Well, talk to y’all laters~
Another GOOD one : The Bride, the Witch and the Dress
There once was a madly in love couple, a rich girl and a dirt poor boy, the fact that the guy was poor was enough to make the girl’s parents balk at the thought of their precious lil girl marrying into poverty. thus they forbade their request to be married when he (the poor guy) asked for their little girl’s hand in marriage. Dejected, the couple decided that to be together, the only choice is to elope as soon as the chance arises.And that chance DID arrive, while picking up their suits at the wedding dress and suit shop, the groom decided to walk across the “not-so-busy” street to get his beloved one a bouquet of flowers. But unbeknown to the excited groom, a speeding car came out of nowhere and “WHAM!!” giving a new meaning to “Pop goes the weasel“, the groom’s good intention had gotten him killed him. The bride, upon hearing the crash, hurried to the murder scene just to find that there isn’t going to be a wedding after all. She rushed to his side and hugged his blood-soaked limp body close to her and cried in anguish.
At night, after she was taken home by her parents and tucked into bed, her parents went off to bed as well, relieved that their only daughter did not throw her life away by marrying a poor boy. At the stroke of midnight, deep in his sleep, the girl’s father had a dream, in his dream, a witch appeared looking wrinkled as well as ghastly with her hair flowing around her face bringing about the rise of Ju-On (touches wood >.>). The father, shocked and terrified, awoke in cold sweat, but not before the warning given by the witch to him mentioning that “You must get rid of the blood from your daughter’s wedding dress or misfortune will befall her.” Assuming that it’s all been just a nightmare, the father returned to bed and forgot the whole incident.
The 2nd night however, the mother had the same exact dream about the witch and the warning about the tragedy that was about to befall her daughter if the dress wasn’t cleaned. Being a logical woman, the mother ignored the warning as well and went back to bed without thinking twice.
On the 3rd night, the witch turned her attention to the girl, appearing in her dreams, the witch instructs the girl to wash her wedding dress for a great misfortune will befall her if she fails to clean the dress of all the blood stains, after conveying the warning, the witch vanished and the girl awoke in cold sweat. Since it was the girl’s own life at stake here, she decided to believe the witch in her dreams and starts the day with washing her wedding dress. It was a tedious chore as the blood stains on the wedding dress had seeped into the dress making it difficult to get rid of the stains. With all her might, the girl washed the dress as clean as it could get but there was a small patch left on the dress where the blood stain was being as stubborn as a bull and wouldn’t was off.
When she went to sleep that night, the witch approached her again predicting her impending doom if she does not find a way to get rid of the remaining blood stains. And so, the girl began her day by washing the dress again, but to her dismay, the blood stain would not go away. Days passed by as the witch reappeared in her dreams nightly and the girl washing the dress daily, but nothing seems to be able to get rid of the stubborn blood stain.
Exasperated, the girl decided to give up and give in to her fate of impending doom and await the time she would be reunited with her loved one. Just as she gave up, suddenly the doorbell rang, bringing a sudden tension in the air as the girl wonders if that was her impending doom awaiting her at her door. Cautiously, the girl went and open the door slowly. Gasping in shock, she finds the witch in her dreams to be standing outside her door.
The witch with her hair flowing around her, her wrinkled skin sagging her face makes her look as though she was the wicked witch of the west. The girl upon sighting the witch, back up further into the house, the witch, not missing a beat moves forward towards the girl in a menacing look, staring her down with a grumpy cum evil cum obsessed look.
The end felt near when the girl felt herself backed into a wall without an escape route for all the exits have been blocked by walls without a window in sight (
yes, there weren’t any windows to the house, curse her bad luck). The witch, just stopping short of her glared at the girl and reached into her over-sized robes and starts to bring out something resembling a box…”a box of doom?” thought the frightened girl as she places her hands in front of her to ward off what was coming to her when suddenly, the witch hands the girl a box of……detergent!!“Use THIS to get rid of the stains you silly girl!!!”
*Pauses to let the surprising ending sink into the readers shocked minds*
Now, how was that for a story? Surprising hmm? I was surprised too when my brother decided to share this story with the family during Christmas Eve while we were in a restaurant having dinner. I have to admit, I was expecting a different ending as well. Imagine my incredulous expression when my brother ended the story abruptly with the 2nd last phrase “when suddenly, the witch hands the girl a box of…detergent!!” -.-;;;
You can just imagine the silence that ensued after my brother finished his story, yes, even the people from the neighboring tables were listening intently to the story. Oh what a shock we had when he ended it. But it was funny nonetheless after recovering from the shocking ending.
And that’s all there is…there isn’t anymore…(taken from Madeline)
The BAD : Looking into the mirror of my eyes…
What do you see when you look into my eyes for the first time? Do you see a girl worthy of your trust? Do you see someone you’d spend your life with forever? Do you see a good person in me that I have never known about? What do you see in me?!?! Let me tell you what I see when I look at myself in the mirror in the middle of the night, while taking a long hot bath because the night was long and cold
and I wasn’t able to sleep, relaxation was the last thing on my mind when I thought of how I treated you, of how, after gaining your trust, I threw it all away because I thought what I felt just wasn’t enough to take us all the way to the end. Of how, when you heard me say the bitter words “I guess I don’t feel the same way you do about me…” of how you’re still stuck on that little hope of me saying “I still do love you, but it’s not as much as I thought it would be…” and of how you’re still placing me on that blessed pedestal that I never wanted to be placed on, clinging to the fragile hope that I might return to your embrace…When I face the mirror in silent turmoil, I look at myself, at the person I became, the person I’m going to be, the things I will do
and have done. I swear softly as I remember your tormented and desperate words to make me stay, to not leave the thing we called “US“, to not break that sacred bond we had, the laughter, the sadness, the joy, the pain…but it was not to be had, my selfish self couldn’t bare to stay with you any longer lest I become less of who I am, who I want to be…Sighing at those thoughts I look back into the mirror and look deep into my eyes. What I saw was alarming, I saw, within the depths of my black pupils, a mean, angry, selfish person that in the past, I swore I would not be…I forced myself to continue looking into the mirror, even as the mirror was fogging up due to the hot running shower, forced myself to continue to see what others did not…
I saw myself looking into the past when I was an innocent child, willing to learn, eager to please, not knowing what the future will bring and how it will change who I am…The little girl, I saw, was chasing and playing around with other little kids, they were playing “capture the butterfly” where boys will be boys, thus becoming the side who captures the butterflies, disguised as little girls. Oh the joy from the children’s laughter was ringing through the school, such a joyous day they are having, I felt the urge to join in with them. Alas, I’m just someone from the outside looking in…
And then the scenery changed into a different time, the little girl has grown, she was not who she used to be, but still as innocent to the outside world, not knowing life was about to change for her…this time, the little girl bumped into her new friends, apologetically, she apologizes to them, not knowing that they, in fact, would one day be her good friends. Day by day, the girl hung around her new friends, getting to know them, never learning to say “No” chatting, talking, and just having plenty of fun with her new found friends. Such a enlightening sight for I long to step in and have fun with them as well…but before I could do just that, the scenario changes.
This time, the girl herself has changed drastically, not an innocent child anymore but a weary, negative, judgmental as well as a skeptical girl, nay, woman. She has long passed the stage of childhood and stepped into a time where kids turned rebellious teen. Her eyes are open this time, to the world around her, knowing that everything was not what they seem to be, people did not cooperate with each other, in fact, they do everything in their power to succeed their friends, relatives and even their parents. Deaths was also another event tainting the little girl’s life, the stench of death made her weary to have any friends, lest they leave her alone again in this cold, cruel world.
But, what’s this? The woman has started to like men, to have crushes, adoration, love and lust. But the only problem was, the woman deigned herself unworthy of these men in her life, she felt that life had dealt her a bad hand when she wasn’t made like the rest of the female population. She looked as bad as she felt, fat, ugly, clumsy, lame, boring, plain and not worthy. Therefore, she locked her bitter heart away from the world, her emotions, put to one side, made her sane, made her chase her bitter dreams away, made her…less than human…
But love did indeed blossom when she met a guy over the internet, a guy who knew her only by her words and her feelings that were never faked. It was a wondrous feeling to be loved, yet it wasn’t as fulfilling as she thought it would be when they started to drift apart, a gap so wide, you wouldn’t have thought possible. Not wanting to face him and tell him of her feelings, she did the most cowardly of acts, she wrote an offline message to be, a long one, explaining why she was feeling the way she had, why she didn’t dare to face him and why she needed time to think…the guy, thinking he had done something wrong, demanded to know what was wrong and so she answered him, after many words
and tearssaid between them, they parted…Not long after, I see that the girl had undergone a change once again, she isolated herself from the rest of the kind world and went down a path that would probably rob her of any good memories she ever had in the past. She started to meet different variation of guys like they were clothes in a shop she liked. So, as days go by, her boyfriends became a different one each day, not all of them held a grudge against her “polygamy” ways but she felt they had no right to complain because she had already given them
somewhat ofa disclaimer that they all agreed upon : “I am a female polygamyer and you might not be the last…” but YOU! You came into the picture and broke my habitwhich made me hate you a lil, the habit I had and did not want to change, not even for you, but I took pity on you, you and yourpatheticlove life that somewhat resembles my own. Therefore, I agreed to be with you and stop my habits.As time wore on, my “love” for you became “like” and when I was too busy to even come online, you bothered me on the phone, calling me 10 times or more a day, making me feel “stalked” thus my “loath” for you began as well as deepened when you demanded that I not leave you and even stooping as low as to “kill yourself“, telling me that you have just swallowed all the sleeping pills and felt the poison began to work it’s magic which you miraculously vomited it out of your system when I mentioned that we might still be together. Not only that, you then mentioned that you have bought the plane tickets as well as getting your passport done as well your dad passing on in a losing attempt to regain my “love” and “pity” for you…
So I ask again…what do you see in me when I talk to you, when we spend time with each other, when I awkwardly say “I love you” when it should have been obvious I didn’t when I tried to avoid speaking on the microphone with you? Is it so hard to forget me when I have already put you into my past and moved on? And then I ask again, What do you see when you look and or talk to me? Do I resemble a nice person to you? Or do you want to believe a lie, a lie that makes you think I’m an ideal person for you? So ideal that you won’t forget what we “had“…
Forget me, for I am now with my beloved one that I have known and had drifted apart from, we might have problems but my love for him had never diminished. Between his carefree stance and your obsessive behavior towards me, I’d choose him any day…
With that thought in mind, tears streamed down my face, I look away from the mirror in disgust and finished my bath. The next morning, I put on an emotionless facade and went about my business as I usually do, not conveying my real emotions to the real world, staying in my solitary world and only telling the world how I feel on this over-dramatic blog of mine, with no pretense wrote in it, pouring out the pain that I feel inside of me…
And the FUNNY : Our Love-Hate Relationship
I love you…I truly do.
I love you…I truly do. I love the way that I can see you everyday. I love the way that you are always by my side, always there when I needed you, always ready to entertain me when I am bored, to humor me when I am down and in the dumps, to enfold me in your knowledgeable world.
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I love you…I truly do. I love the way when I wake up every single day, you’re just there, right in front of me. You’ll be there waiting for me to come home when I’m off making a living as a overworked student in University, giving me a sense of longing to go back into your embrace. And you are always there when I go to bed, giving me goodnight toot toots and making me smile.
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I love you…I truly do. I love the way that when I’m with you, I feel exhilarated at the fact that I could be with you and you will be there, sitting quietly just entertaining me and humoring my whims and desires. You’re everything a girl like me need in her life.
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I love you…I truly do. I love the way you feel under my exploring fingers. I love it when you submit easily to my fingers and my caresses on your lengthy board. I sometimes wished you were smaller to fit me but I love your length the way it is more. At times you make me clean you, I love it when I see you all cleaned up and feel proud that I did it myself.
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I love you…I truly do. I love it when I have to look into your face and see what is going through your thoughts and sometimes by my order, you take me into all new different worlds. You even take me all around the world for you never deny me any of my wishes. You are always there for me.
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I love you…I truly do. You may be big in size, people tend to stare at us from afar when I bring you out along with me. But I like the way they ooh and ahh when they see us together and admire my strength and bravery in having you. It feels oh so good.
I hate you…I truly do.I hate you…I truly do. I truly do not love you at times…you get all too jealous and that makes it difficult not only for me but for you as well…every time I have friends over to entertain, you turn yourself blue by making jealous noises, wanting me to leave them and entertain you alone.::::::::::::::::::::
I hate you…I truly do. Yes, I truly hate you when at critical times, you seem to want attention, and when we (my friends and I) do give you attention, you go all out to show your attitude by shutting yourself out from the world. What did you want me to do? Say no when we have to do assignments? Stop being childish!!
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I hate you…I truly do. Why is it that you feel that you have to be jealous when I am not with you but with someone or something else that doesn’t include you? Don’t I give you enough time of my life? I even wasted half my year in 2006 doing nothing but BE with you…is that not enough? Do you want my life too?
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I hate you…I truly do. Why won’t you respond to me when I talk to you while I eat in front of you? Read in front of you? Playing with my cat in front of you? Even my cat loves you. He often find you comfortable enough to sleep on…WHY?
I love you and I hate you…I truly do.I love you and I hate you…I truly do. You are my first and probably my last, will you not cooperate with me? Are you sick? Do you need to see a doctor? Recently you have been looking down and blue…sometimes even going blank in front of me, scaring me…What do I do? Do you have a unknown virus in you? What kind of treatment must I attend you with…WHAT??::::::::::::::::::::
I love you and I hate you…I truly do. Oh computer how I love you so…don’t leave me cold and alone in this growing IT world…in this cruel assignment-filled world where I can’t be without a computer and be left behind…why can’t you understand how I feel and STOP turning into a blue screen and kicking me off without saving my assignments…Gawd…how I love-hate you…
PS : What were you guys thinking o_O I’m not THAT open to having sex before marriage…I’m a true modern Chinese but with traditional thinking on sex before marriage thanks to my parents. And I believe that if love is worth it…sex can come later in life even if it means having no kids…that way, I can adopt and refrain from overpopulating human kind…I mean…look at Singapore, they’re practically sinking!! Especially now that their government has dropped the curtains on their “1 child per couple” curfew. They should just have changed it to “2 child per couple” in stead of the “have as many as you want”.PPS : Also, yes, I’m in love with my computer…why? Cause without computer, I’ll be useless in terms of my assignments, entertainment, news, communication and whatever else…so DON’T diss my love for my computer, people!!
All these were just SOME of the great memories I had and have more to come but for now…life is just as hectic as hell, just reading the past posts made me dream to be carefree again and able to blog to my heart’s content again without any environmental and time interruptions…how I wish…what will be, will be, eh?
» Filed Under Memories | 2 Comments
Parents and MY side of the story…
Posted on July 9, 2007
Parents. The giver of life and the provider of comfort and the money you spend (during our younger years). I love my parents, I truly do. For they are the two most important people in my life. They, who gave birth to me (well, that was my mom >_>), seen me grow up, taught me how to walk, read, speak, take care of myself, but most of all, they taught me never to conform to society (though I DO conform at times…tis hard NOT to when pressure appears…) instead, to conform to the rules of safety and comfort of family and home. In short, domesticity.
It is at these times that you will find me most compliant to their inquiries/comments/authority as well as the most stubborn. My parents are always worrying about us (the kids) and are afraid that one day, we’d find ourselves jailed/robbed/raped/killed. To my distress, of all the children in the family, they seem to worry more about me. Why? That’s the question I constantly ask myself. I’m a good daughter; I look left and right and left again when I cross the road; I have nothing worth robbing; I’m fat and ugly, who in their right mind would rape me?
The answer may seem simple but there are always the other side to the story aren’t there? I’m a good daughter, however, I tend to be a quick hand at finding things not wanting to be found thus might put in trouble if that person didn’t want it found (E.G. A killer hid some killer evidence, poor curious me finds it, killers sees me take it, comes after me and kills me. The End.); I look left and right and left again when I cross the road, looking left, right and left, I might miss a speeding car coming from the right and you’re not suppose to do the looking WHILE crossing, you’re suppose to do it before and while crossing; I have nothing worth robbing other than the jade bracelet on my left wrist, my MP3 hanging from my neck and my handphone in my bag!!! I’m fat and ugly, who in their right mind would rape me? Rappers aren’t exactly what I call a psychologically healthy person in the first place!!
W ell, I’m DOOMED! After thinking that I am immune to such brutal endings and deaths, I find myself MORE vulnerable than I was in the first place D: !! So I guess, my parents seem to be right on all accounts that whatever I do will ultimately lead to me living another day or die something good or something bad. What frustrates me most about my parents would of course be about domesticity. In truth, I have never mastered the skill of cooking other than boiling water, putting the just-washed rice into the rice cooker, and cooking maggie mee; neither have I sewn or mended clothes perfectly. I more or less destroyed it, making it less wearable than it originally was >_>
They would comment on how I was lousy in these skills and would not be able to get a good man to ever think of marrying me if I never learn. Not only that, though I know I have a weight problem, oh all right, being obese, I could NEVER find them a son-in-law and that my health would deteriorate. On the health part, I agree. However, on the never marrying part, I differ. I’m only 20 at the moment, I still have at least 20 more years or so left in me (modern human life span is truly pitiful…) and as men have their expectations in what they want in a female, I have MY expectations of what I want in a man too!
What my parents didn’t know was that I DID find my perfect guy. The guy who loved me for who I am, the guy who cared about how I felt and what I had to say, the guy who was sensitive to my very whim, the guy I would gladly have had kids with, the guy who would cook and clean for me if I didn’t want to do it myself, the guy who I wanted to be domestic for, the guy who loved me more than I loved him. It is on the last point that I have regretted my decision. In our relationship, I have betrayed him more times than I can count. No. I never cheated on him. No. I did something worst than cheating on him. I left him due to my selfishness. The spark had left me a dry spell and I told him I wanted out…he left upset and shaken…I started dating another guy…and he came back…I left the other guy and went back to him willingly when he said he still wanted me…months later…the dry spell returned…and I left…again…after a month or so…I returned and we were together again…and again, as if I never learned, I left AGAIN! But this time…forever. I told him he deserved better and to find another person and he did. I should be happy for him. I am but my heart lies dead.
But what my parents don’t know won’t hurt them, right? My parents are lovely people, in fact, to me, they are the perfect couple! After 21 years of marriage, they are still in love with each other and still very in tuned with each other. However, when they aren’t looking, I see a sad look on their faces as we, the children grow up, we become more detached from our parents. I feel their loneliness and I want to comfort them and tell them “I love you and I’ll never leave you” but I can’t promise that. Sometimes there are unforeseen circumstances in life that makes it difficult to say “I’ll alway be there for you till your time comes in the far future.”
You can say that I might have a double personality. With my parents, I want to be the daughter to be there for them. To care for them and be their companions. With my siblings, I want to be their friend and sister they look up to. With my friends, I tend to be more aggressive and be more…myself…? Sometimes I feel at lost as to who I really am. Family and social obligations have been tying me down ever since I was born as most of you out there are. However, most of the times, I would think that this IS my personality just that it’s split down in two parts; instead of having equal amount on both sides, I have one on each side making it an unbalanced equation.
Perhaps one day, love will find me again; perhaps I would be able to equally part my personality equally; perhaps one day, my parents would look at me and say “We trust your judgments.“…perhaps…
» Filed Under Abstract, Humor & Laughs, Life Issues & Truth, Rants & Whatever | Leave a Comment
Heal The World
Posted on July 8, 2007
Heal The World
Written and Composed by Michael Jackson
There’s a place in
Your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could
Be much
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You’ll find there’s no need
To cry
In this place you’ll feel
There’s no hurt or sorrow
There are ways
To get there
If you care enough
For the living
Make a little space
Make a better place…
(Chorus)
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
If you want to know why
There’s a love that
Cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of
Joyful giving
If we try
We shall see
In this bliss
We cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and
Start living
Then it feels that always
Love’s enough for
Us growing
So make a better world
Make a better world…
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
And the dream we were
Conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we
Once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep
Strangling life
Wound this earth
Crucify its soul
Though it’s plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be God’s glow
We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart
I feel you are all
My brothers
Create a world with
No fear
Together we cry
Happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords
Into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough
For the living
Make a little space
To make a better place…
(Chorus x3)
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
You and for me (x 11)
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Today is one of the rare times that I’m blogging something meaningful. So please read what I got to say, think about what I have said and perhaps just appreciate what I got to say and make a difference today!
Have you noticed the changing weather patterns lately everywhere that was reported by the media and probably experienced by you and or your families or relatives? Earthquakes, freak waves, erupting volcanoes, typhoons, heavy rains, flooding, landslides, snow, cold, heat, wildfires, droughts, all in all, a climate change. This is happening all around the world.
The recent earthquake and subsequent tidal waves in the Indian Ocean have caused many to wonder why God allows such disasters to burden the earth. Is there any reasonable explanation for these events that respects the concept of the benevolence of our Creator?
Taken from : Cristian Courier
Why are these disasters happening more frequently now than they did in the past? Is this due to the fact that the Gods are angry at how we are “up keeping” the Earth? Or is it Mother Nature’s way of saying “You human scums are loitering my used-to-be beautiful Earth!!”
People say that humans are the most intelligent being on the face of Earth because we have the ability to think and do what we want; know the right and wrong; are able to do things other beings are not able to do; we even have opposable thumbs!! Yay thumbs!!!
So if we humans are so superior, why is it that we tend to be destroying more than we can afford to destroy? At the beginning of time, we were allowed to survive on this Earth by living off the fruit of our natural surroundings, the clean clear water running in the river and the will to survive!
But sad to say, humans became greedier and greedier as each day passes by when knowledge came into grasp. People started building machines to help them be more efficient in life; houses to keep them warm and safe and factories to produce items, gadgets and food to help them through life. As time passes by, our greed grew and grew and we find ourselves chopping down trees in forests to make way for the human population and to build more buildings to sell and make a killing; to make tables, chairs, paper, books, matches and so on. We built more and more factories; factories that secrets out waste in the once beautifully clean and clear rivers; puffs dirty smoke in the once clear blue sky. Built machines that not only pollutes the air with it’s fuming exhausts and the noise it creates leaves no peace for the animals. Soon, animals and nature itself grows smaller and smaller. “This is the life!” we thought. But we were wrong. We started noticing that the air we breath have now become too polluted to breath in, the water too dirty to drink from and the city overrun by human creations causing every kind of pollution humans can think of…
“Regret” we thought, was too late. We have already in our minds condemned the Earth to hell and believing that the end was approaching. But what we didn’t want to know was that we can do our part today and make a difference to slow the damage on the world. Instead of using petroleum, switch to solar; instead of air conditioning, use the fan; instead of littering, use a garbage bin; instead of driving, use your legs to walk or switch to public transports.
Do your part today and keep the future save for our children and the future generations. Teach your kids to love Earth and do their part to protect and preserve. Without Earth, we would never have been born, never have met, and never have blogged!
» Filed Under Abstract, Interesting Reads, Life Issues & Truth, Rants & Whatever | 4 Comments
Carat’s Day to the Vet
Posted on July 7, 2007
Today was Carat’s first vaccination. My mom and I were the ones who took Carat to the vet today and Carat, well, he was so afraid going there! He was trembling in my arms when we were going there.
He was ABSOLUTELY petrified to just be there! And I don’t blame him cause when we went into the vet’s checkup slash operating room, another cat just had himself spayed. And omg…the expression on the cat was HORRIFYING! The vet told us that the other cat was asleep in it’s cage but it didn’t look like it to me! That cat had it’s eyes open and glazed over like he was hallucinating and didn’t want to blink in case it disappears. It’s tongue was hanging out of it’s mouth like it was making a raspberry…it was…disturbing…and to think! Carat is gonna be spayed in about 2 to 3 months time!
So yea, Carat was agitated by this…I bet now he’s going through a traumatic phase after seeing that cat…and NO! I’m not able to help my Carat psychologically…I’m a psychology student…studying to be a clinical psychologist, not a animal psychologist D: !!
Not only did Carat came home with trauma as a souvenir, I got myself some too! His claw marks on my skin =.=!!! He scratched me throughout the trip and in the building…it was overall, a painful experience…
Happen to have gone through this before? What happened? Help me to help Carat get through this phase?
» Filed Under Outings, Rants & Whatever | 2 Comments
July Layout
Posted on July 7, 2007
Due to many people saying that my old layout just isn’t that nice and seems all too dark and gloomy. Some even had some loading problems and couldn’t enter the blog. I have decided that it truly is time to change my layout and what perfect time than a new month?
July Layout
So here it is. My new layout created by rkcorp called the Nobus. it’s a fairly simple layout and clean as well as BRIGHT! If any of you seem to find any problems with this layout, please do not hesitate to inform me about it. Oh yea, just so you know, my blog is more compatible to Mozilla Firefox Users and would look BETTER using a resolution of 1024 x 768 in your display settings.
Edit :
Changed my layout into a different one. Also a shade of grey but I happen to like this layout better.
July Layout Edit
This layout was created by YGoSearch called YGo Lonely. I really like the name “Why Go Lonely?” Why? Because I’m single hahahaha! Single = Lonely…NOT! Single is awesome half of the time. Besides, I haven’t found someone who meets my expectations yet
“What’s your expectation of someone you’re gonna have as a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Hmm…I don’t want a skinny guy, all bones and no flesh is a pain in the ass. A guy who is honest who says “You look fat today.” A guy who knows when to comfort you and when not to “You may be fat but who cares!” A guy who knows when to pamper you “Wanna go get some ice cream?” A guy who likes you for who you are.
What’s YOUR expectation of your partner?
» Filed Under Announcements, Literature, Art & Graphics | 2 Comments
Gravity Bedamned!
Posted on July 7, 2007
It’s I think…1.30am now and I am still awake. I should be in bed right now and enjoying my beauty sleep, but I’m not! Why not? Because my bed got upgraded recently to a mattress DOUBLE my previous one…so right now, I would have to climb, yes, CLIMB into bed just to sleep.
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||====================|| <<<< That’s where my old mattress ended.
||====================|| <<<< That’s where my old mattress started.
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Has now turned into THIS :
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||====================|| <<<< That’s where my new mattress ended.
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||====================|| <<<< That’s where my new mattress started.
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I now feel like the “Princess and the Pea” where she was forced to sleep on a REALLY high bed as a test to see whether she really is a princess. And in this case, a dictator lol.
I went swimming these couple of days, and on the first day I went, I met up with a few of the old gang who used to be in a swimming team before. We had fun and all and it turned out, I got forced to play VOLLEYBALL!! Me!! Playing volleyball!! You can only imagine me falling left right and center and getting ambushed by that sneaky white ball! No wonder I never play this kind of sport after I left high school?
Not to mention the swimming! After only a few years of not swimming, I am way off now D: I got really tired after only the FOURTH lap!! I used to be able to swim like…TEN laps but now…this just goes to show how out of shape I am…right now, my whole body feels heavy…
You know the feeling of when you’re in the water, you’re as light as that volleyball but after coming out, you seem to get grounded onto land, as if your mass body weight is pulling you down to earth, calling you back to face reality. That’s how I feel right now…after bathing, when I tried to put on some clothes, my hands felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and getting heavier by the second…even walking BACK to the car was exhausting…my mom tells me that I just have to swim more often to let the heavy, grounded feeling wear off and I just might do that…
Oh well, class tomorrow…I’m off to bed! G’night…
» Filed Under Rants & Whatever | Leave a Comment
