One Body, Many Minds…
Posted on May 29, 2007
Well, now that I’m starting a new semester, I’m back to blogging again. The holidays totally cut off my blogging time by 90%. Yes, apparently my fingers seem to think that whenever I get a holiday or some time off to relax, it thinks it should have the same privilege too o_o!!
Every part of my body has a mind of it’s own!! I swear!! Like my hair for instance. Whenever I am at home and not doing anything and there’s no one to see it, my hair looks it’s VERY BEST!! And whenever I have to be OUTSIDE where it’s in full view of the world, it panics and goes haywire =/ it totally frizzes up x_x
Next would be my eyes…I swear it looks WAY smaller when I’m outside the house, though, it could also be because it’s WAY hot outside and SUNNY!! Yea, you may THINK that’s the reason, but I have my doubts about it…you really can’t trust it D:!!
The only part of me that BEHAVES would be my nails, I think…why? Cause it’s always perfect to me. I love my nails cause it’s well shaped and it doesn’t chip off like some other female’s nails. In fact, I don’t even have to use nail enamor to help strengthen them cause they’re so well behaved 
Why am I talking about this? That’s because I noticed my FRIZZED up hair TODAY in University D: sucks for me ;_; I think I need to get some hair spray or just use a cap…damn…I’ll have hat hair T-T!!!
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A New Semester…
Posted on May 29, 2007
Haih…another semester has come and gone, like leaves on a tree in the fall…this new semester now marks the second year of my studies. Another 2 more years until I finish my bachelor degree and move on to my Masters, this is of course, assuming that I could go for my Masters…
This also brings us to “Time”. It seems this semester wouldn’t be as hectic as it used to be last semester. No more staying in University till 6pm daily!! Yay!! No more Saturday classes!! Yay!! Also, the air-conditioning in the lecture hall is fixed!! Yay!! Three “Yays”, that’s a good sign, right? Right! Also, this only means ONE thing!! Subjects are going to be MUCH tougher this semester, assignments would be WAY nastier and my thesis topic needs to be thought of EARLY!!
“Way to go, Jess, second day into the semester and you’re freaking yourself out already.”
No uh!! I already done that after my final exams 3 weeks ago >_> but AAAAAAAAAANYWAYS!!!! It’s day 2 of my second semester today, and so far, I have walked to or fro from University THREE times. And it’s so TIRING walking up and down to go to University again…yes, I haven’t been walking much during my semester break >_> yes, I’m guilty of all charges ;_;
So now I have to get the hang of walking again. Fortunately, my brother is having school holidays!! Therefore, I am able to force accept his kind invitation of driving me to and from University whenever he could! This would be one of the times that I’m glad I’m the eldest and my word is law >D
So yea, so far I had to walk 3 out of 4 times these few days =3 and also, I met up with an old schoolmate in UTAR today!!! She used to be my brother’s classmate and my colleague when I was working in Jaya selling shoes. Apparently, she’ll be studying in UTAR under Public Relations! Hahahaha, she mentioned that she couldn’t even recognize me at all today lol. Don’t know if I should be flattered or not =/
Oh oh!!! Also, my lecturers, 2 of the 2 lecturers we have met, one is about to get married soon in July, and the other one is about to give birth, around August I think…know what this means? No? Well, this means that I have to expect replacement classes!!! Oh noooooooooooooooooooo!!! I hope they wouldn’t place it on Saturdays D: That’d be EVIL!!! Seeing as all of a sudden, we don’t have Saturday classes, I’m hoping it’d stay that way all semester round, wishful thinking that it is…
I took MORE pictures of the new kitty I have and it’s so CUTE!!! And TINY!!! And…CUUUUUUUUUTE!!! Hahahaha, I can’t help myself lol. I don’t have the pictures now cause it’s in my phone and I’m lazy to upload it today. Hot weather usually helps in this laziness of mine D: It’s been crazy lately, the weather I mean…I’m wearing a spaghetti strap shirt now and the fan is at it’s maximum (number 5) and I’m STILL sweating a river…are we doomed to MELT?!?!
Holy crap!!! Since the semester started, I haven’t been moody!! Surprise? So am I!! Must be the UBER BOREDOM!!!! I swear, boredom would be endangering mankind with my SUPER EMONESS!!! You can ask anyone who was in contact with me last break. I totally went berserk!! Like, talking about dying lmao!! Well, now that I’m getting back into the student mode, my emotions have calmed down a bit…though I’m sure that it’ll return when assignment due dates are nearing and we’re doing last minute job again…other than that, I’m still missing Alex…I heard from his friend, Alex (yes, the friend’s name is ALSO Alex. He’s my friend too =3), that he’ll be back on Friday!! Oh gosh…I hope he’s safe…
Regarding my holiday goals, it’s fucked and gone to hell…
- Have a minimum of 50 posts by end May => 26 posts so far counting this.
- Finish 10 assorted signature tutorials => Done.
- Clean up my room => Mission FAILED!
- Lose KGs => Lost some and gained some.
- Finish up some projects by Chrix => Done.
- Anger Management => Mission FAILED!
- Start to say “no” more often to people => Done.
Erm >_> lol!!! I guess I’m not that good with resolutions am I? D: Oh well ._.
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Humans…
Posted on May 28, 2007
Life is like a game, no? I think so. Life is sometimes cruel and also sometimes great. Sometimes we make bad choices and sometimes good ones. In a game, you always start out as a newbie, a novice, the new guy and then you gradually earn experience points and level up, becoming more and more powerful.
In life, we start out as innocent little babies, then gradually, we grow up, we’re taught to crawl, to walk, to run, to stand, to sit, to talk, to potty-train, to make the right decision, to say “Pa-pa!” and “Ma-ma!“, to learn languages, math, science and basic knowledges, to learn how to socialize with people, to make friends, to earn money, to get a partner in life, to pro-create, to grow old gracefully, to die…
And this goes on and on and on, everything is repeated in the cycle of life. In a game, you are an immortal being, you kill or be killed. And you’re killed, respawn yourself and get revenge! This is somewhat the same thing we have going in life, a life for a life; a body for a body and so on. We humans are delicate beings. We get frustrated at the slightest things. We see everything as a half. It’s either half full or half empty. There is no way about it.
Humans are rather silly too! They say they aren’t judgmental nor racist, but it’s blatantly obvious that they’re just contradicting themselves because they prefer to think that they are the perfect person; that no one else is like they are and that they are ultimately, unique.
Honestly? I think I’m BOTH perfect and imperfect. I have flaws, I don’t doubt that but I have perfect ideals too. Maybe that’s what makes me perfect to me. Like everybody else, I think I’m kind, useful, “motherly”, a good daughter, a good sister, a good girlfriend and whatever good. However, that is what I think in my ideal world. In this less than ideal world, I think of it as gray, everything I thought I am are actually the opposite of what I want to be…
Don’t mind my needless babbling…a friend of mine told me yesterday that I’m doing this sort of self-torturing cause I’m missing Alex. True, I miss Alex a lot. He’s in the army in Israel and I’m worried about him. But I feel that isn’t it…I’m just feeling frustrated at the world now and I have reasons to do it too…I just can’t say why yet…
Why am I thinking this? Why am I torturing myself? Why is everything to me, needs to be analyzed? Why? Why? WHY?!?!?!
Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t know. I know myself as much as I don’t know myself. I’m like half an open library and half the restricted section. I wished I knew more about myself…but why learn everything when I can do it slowly and be amused for the rest of my life?
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A New Addition to the Family
Posted on May 27, 2007
We got a new kitty!! Actually, my brother did. This kitty is so small you wouldn’t believe it when you saw!! My brother found it outside our house yesterday in the BIG drain. But it was there before. And I know who the culprit is!!!
“Who was it, Ms. Sherlock?”
Why my dear Mr. and Mrs. Watsons’, the culprit, due to clever deductions, was non other than Mrs. Ting!!
“Who is Mrs. Ting?”
This Mrs. Ting, is none other than the Mrs. Ting, also known as the principal of Pui Chee Kindergarten!!! Imagine that!! SHAME ON HER!!! Who would have thought, a principal of a learning establishment would have done something like that!!
“What’s so wrong about it?”
First of all, she really isn’t that educated to have dumped a kitten on the side of the road instead of taking it to a animal shelter, is she?! Secondly, from what I heard, she’s been leaving water and MILO where she left the kitten!! The water have earned her back some points but MILO?!?! What kitten drinks MILO?! Kittens drink MILK like the ones given my their mother cat or even a HUMAN!! I have now doubts about her being a principal. What is she teaching the kids in there?!
“Cats love Milo?”
I have no doubt about it! I’m sure if I were to question a little kid there, they’d say that mouse chase cat, cat chase dog and the dog are cowardly beings -_-” Enough about her…she’s not worth it…
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Anyways, we have yet to name the kitten. Not that we don’t want to but we want to wait till we are sure Max (My beloved first kitty) is able to live with this kitten. If not, we’ll be handing this kitten over to the right people to take care of it ;_;
Naturally we wouldn’t be exposing this kitten to the living area like the living room, kitchen and so on because we also have a live in dog, Angel and she has the tendency to bite ANYTHING!!! And needless to say, this kitten would be a goner when come in contact with Angel.
I think Max feels threatened by this new kitten, he hisses when he is near it and kinda looks warily at it like it’s an enemy…he even backed away when I placed the kitten underneath a basket so it acts like a house to it…oh my…
Okay, I took some pictures of this new kitten, it’s not really good cause I have to hold it in one hand and take pictures in another. Not only that, it’s damn hyperactive, moves a lot, hard to really capture the still image of it.
Awww~!!!
RAH!!! Such a fierce looking tiger kitten!!
Owwww!!! My thumb ;_; it’s being munched on D:!!
And that’s about it about the new addition in my family. Hopefully it gets to continue staying with us ^_^ I am SO in love with it too, other than the bitings, it’s another being that’ll scare my slaves group members when they come over for group assignment >D
Didn’t I mention that I live in a family of ebil individuals? Well, I do xD and it’s eBil not eVil >D
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Love, Tis Thy Confusion…
Posted on May 25, 2007
Pain Of The Night
by Sweett
Watch as this tear falls into empty space
See it fall into life’s nameless place
Can you see the sparkle as it catches the light
That sparkle once was happiness that is no longer in sight
As it falls watch it, its color has changed
From blue to bright red, it has a wide rangeThere it goes all alone, it continues to fall
With it, it takes the emotion, the emotion of all
Wait, can you hear it? A sob has broke free
Has shook the lungs cold, but yet it continues to be
Here it comes, a force has been built between the eye
A wall of shear water, it’s now time to cryA shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul
The darkness of the night has taken its toll
Love…it’s a confusing emotion, no? Indeed…it’s so confusing that I sometimes, more often than not feel overwhelmed by it…It’s so utterly confusing that I would think we’re better off without it…I don’t understand my own emotions regarding love I guess…
At first, I was with Greg. I love him wholeheartedly, with every being in my soul, I love him. And with that said, my every being aches for his very existence in life…Sometimes I love him, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel excited talking with him and sometimes it’s just a bore…I’m in and out of love with him more times than I could count. Yet it hurts when I think of him being with another girl and this being my fault as I told him that he should date other girls…He’s what every girl wants, a prince, a kind, gentle, loving, caring guy with a touch of perverseness.
Then it was Shawn. He was what I like. A funny, interesting guy. He even wanted to fly to Malaysia and study here just to live with me. However, what I didn’t like about him was his inconsistency. When I met him, he was with another girl, he proclaimed love for her and wanted to move to wherever the girl was. And then the relationship ended and he came to me for comfort. Not long after, we were together. This all happened all in 2 days…and then he tells me that I was the first person he really liked and wanted to be with me…forever…and just like that, I was in and out of love in a blink of an eye…that was it…the love is gone…
And then came Alex. He’s not what every girl would want, I say that in all honesty as I type this. For he is a bad tempered young man, with provocation, he goes off his hoots and challenges the opponent to a duel. Yet, we have known each other about a year now. He said he had loved me since we were known to each other. And I accepted him. In a strange yet nicely expected way, I’ve kind of loved him too, before and even now. And we were together…a few days before he was to go off to the army…I found out and I cried a river…I was so afraid of him going off to the army…He lost many of his comrades in the army for guarding the border…I was afraid it could happen to him too. Day and night I prayed. I prayed for his safety, I prayed for his health, I prayed for him to come back to me in one piece…It’s been a while now since I’ve talked to him…I miss him so…truly, I think this is love…
Why is love so confusing? Why can’t we all just love each other, all of us? Why make it so complicated when I can share my heart with all of those I love. There is more than enough space in my heart for everyone…yet they expect only one to reside in this heart of mine. Jealousy bringing them to confront me to choose. And choose I have…I chose you…
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Weird Family Ties…
Posted on May 23, 2007
Ever wondered what it was like if your family married within the family? It’s be SO messed up…you wouldn’t even know whose who and how to call them anymore…especially if you come from Chinese families where you gotta call them by their respected titles.
Everything would TOTALLY be out of whack x_x!! For example, let’s say I’m married to A but we get divorced. A then marries another girl, B. B then has a divorced father and marries me. After that, I have a child who marries A’s little brother and so on and so forth. Damn…it would be so troublesome just calling any of them…
In other words, A is my ex-husband as well as my step-son-in-law. B would be my step-daughter who is married to my ex-husband/step-son-in-law. My current husband is my ex-husband/step-son-in-law’s father and my child would be my ex-husband/step-son-in-law’s in-law-aunt, also aunt to my step-daughter. Later, my child’s husband would be my son-in-law as well as my ex-husband/step-son-in-law’s brother also becoming my ex-husband/step-son-in-law’s uncle. And when THEY have kids, the kids would be my grandchildren as well as my ex-husband/step-son-in-law’s nephew and nieces!!
Oh what a headache @_@!!! Why am I talking about this? Why, if this happened in my real family setting, it’s gonna be a massive disaster!! Cause all in all, I have 10 uncles and aunties on my father’s side and 4 uncles and aunties on my mom’s. And each of them have at least 3 kids, the most being 6. And on my dad’s side, some of these kids have already grown up and have a family of their own, this meaning that they have kids as well. So all in all, if even there was a slight confusion to the family tree. The whole foundation would come crumbling down and would have to be remade x_x!!!!
I’m only talking about this now because I saw something about it on YouTube. Damn funny and sad at the same time. The poor guy is his OWN grandpa!!
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Know Of A Easy Job That Pays Good Money?
Posted on May 18, 2007
Dirt poor!!! I’m in the pits!! No money now, I’m as poor as the flower being trodden upon by me when I walk on the grass without even noticing them as I walk over them. That’s how poor I am…
I’m in need of money. Fast cash. Anyone know of any “Make Money Fast In Real Life” stuffs? As long as it’s legal and doesn’t require me to sell my body or sex or any furniture, or even my cat. Also, I want the money real fast…like within a week!! I need RM 400 in a weeks time. I know, I seem desperate, don’t I? In fact, I am. I am desperate for some easy cash. And I’m not going to ask my parents for it. I’m asking YOU whether you knew of any fast money making jobs or whatever…
Why? Because I need the money to pay for a community server that I want hosted on a dedicated host. I’m not going to go in depth about it. All I have to say that I need a lot of money 
Actually, I need money, period! End of story!
Just so you know, I won’t do modeling and shit cause I’m like, BIG, FAT, UGLY and FAAAAAAT!! Okay, that out of the way, I’m not going to do heavy lifting jobs too cause I have no muscles, it’s all FATS in this body of mine. Mmmm, no professional jobs too cause I’m just a student…and no long term jobs as well seeing as I start my classes again after next week.
So what I’m saying is that I have only ONE week left to work my butt off to collect that amount of money D: So…anybody wanna help a weakling like me? To get a easy job that pays good money?
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Excited Out Of My Mind!
Posted on May 15, 2007
Omg, I feel so giddy, giddy with excitement and anticipation. So much so that I itch everywhere! There’s like this insane itch under my skin that demands to be scratched but I just can’t seem to touch it. It feels so close yet I can’t get rid of this itch!!
It feels like…like…I have a PURPOSE again! I just don’t know how to describe it…it’s like…I feel useful and I have a reason again to continue on. It’s so insane that I feel myself smiling and want to laugh out loud but I couldn’t because people would think I’m insane and my cat would look at me with his “What the hell?” look.
Yet, under all these excited feelings, I feel like I may fail again…I feel like somehow things would just fall apart and I would be a failure and would lose my way again. As if I was destined to fail from the very beginning.
But to say the least, this giddiness is overshadowing my doubts. I’m not sure if this is good or bad because it could still lead to my downfall if I don’t think it through…what a dilemma! But before that, I want to just keep this giddiness alive to stop me from worrying about him and build up the plans I have before he comes back and surprise him with it :3
I’ll talk more about this issue later on when I get it sorted out. Till then, I’m out~
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Missing You…
Posted on May 14, 2007
Sitting by the computer, hoping you would come online…
Hoping beyond hope that you would at least come on for a few seconds to tell me you’re safe…
How’s the weather there? What are you doing? Is the conditions bad? Are you involved? Are you alive…?
Oh how I wish you would just come online just for a second to relieve my mind…the mind that sees a unpredictable future…a future so dense that causes tears to come…
Why are they so cruel to take you away when we just came together? Although for a month…it seems like forever these two days…
Do the other guys pick on you? Do you grieve at the sight of your injured fellow men? Are you thinking of me each night you go to bed? Are you keeping your promise to me to stay safe…are you?
Life seems so dull when you are gone. I pray, and pray, and pray that you would come home safely by the end of your temporary 30 days in the army…I just want you back…
If you didn’t have to go to jail if you failed to do service to your nation, I would never have let you leave…I would have kept you back here with me and never let you go…
Tick tock goes the clock as time passes slowly…it seems like a lifetime before the second hand moved a notch…gawd…how am I to survive these crawling seconds for 30 days?!
It torture when I sleep at night or in the morning for I fear your safety like I do my life. I fear that grenades, C6, tanks and whatever hazardous coming your way. You may be guarding the border, but it’s still a dangerous job…I truly miss you…come back safe, my love.
As I write this, tears have came rushing down my cheeks. Oh the sorrow in my heart. I fear that it’s breaking in two. I try to reassure myself that you’d do ANYTHING to keep that promise, to come back to me, to want me bad enough to live…I hope I’m right for if I’m not, I fear I would never recover…
Oh my love, what dangerous mission are you on now? Please keep yourself safe for my sake. I’ll pray for your safety with my whole being, I’d even die for you…just come back safe…I love you…
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The Giver of Life, My Mother.
Posted on May 12, 2007
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. To a lot of you out there, it may just be another day to you. But to many of out out there, our mother is the heart of everything. The core of all things round. The great being in our life. The great person who carried us for 9 months and endured great pain to see us surface into this world.
Without our beloved mother, we wouldn’t have seen the light of day. We would not have experienced the comfort of her arms when we feel sadder beyond sad, we would be able to confide our secret feelings without her soft coercion, without her support.
Mothers are one of a kind. Be it your real mother, adopted mother, self-appointed mother, Godmother, Grandmother or any mother figures. As long as they care for you like a mother would. Cared for you with unconditional positive regard. Doesn’t ask anything from you but your love and happiness. Rarely you will find a love so deep other than your mother’s love. When showered upon, warmth is the only word to describe it.
I love you, mommeh, you brought me into this world like there was no tomorrow, knowing that I was suppose to have came on the 1st of April, you resisted and gave birth to me on the 3rd instead knowing that in time, I’d appreciate the effort. I remember the time where we laughed and cried, argued and made up, stood up and fall. Those were the days and will continue on as such. I love you, mommeh.
To all the mothers out there, I was going through my year books when I saw this meaningful poem. I’d like to dedicate it to all of you mothers out there, thanking you for being a Mother.
Mother
by kaidobeYou have given me a gift like no other,
One which lasts forever,
One that I shall always treasure,
A gift which touches the heart,
The one that gave me strength right from the start.You portray yourself like a rose,
Always with the perfect pose,
So pretty and magical,
Yet so strong and subtle,
Always understanding and loving,
Never once too tired to care.You hold me so close each time I lose my willpower,
You looked at me to believe in myself,
You built my confidence and I stood tall,
you held my hand and led the way,
I fell many times but you lifted me up.There were times when I doubted myself,
But you said that no one could stop me,
Only if I have faith,
Only if I have you,
Then so it shall be,
Nothing would stand in my way.You are the reason I carry on each day,
You are the hope I hold on to,
You are the strength of my soul,
You are the love in my life,
You are my hero,
Indeed, you are my everything.I just want to thank you for all that you have done,
Not as a mother nor as a friend,
But as a gift from the Heavens above,
As an angel who guides me through,
You taught me all I had to know and so much more,
how can I ever begin to show you how glad I am,
To have known you, understand you and most of all,
Love you.I may not show it as often as I should,
You may doubt my very words,
Althought this may seem a mere poetry,
But this I promise you,
There is nothing I would not do,
For someone so special,
For a mother like you.No other soul shall understand,
The bond between a mother and child,
Just what I feel for you,
how much you mean to me,
What would I be without you,
Where would I stand today?No man emphatize,
That I live for you,
Thank you mother,
You opened my eyes when I was blind,
You heard my words when I failed to speak,
You were my feet when I could not walk no more,
You touched my heart when I lost my sense.The Lord may take all my wishes away,
Take all the luxuries and comfort,
All my hopes and dreams,
I may be His lifetime slave,
He may take this life of mine,
But I shall not let Him take you.Each word I have engraved,
Shall stay in my heart for eternity,
I will not forget our affection,
your touch of devotion,
I will remember your dedication,
Your ever supportive manner.I wish you all the wishes you may have,
To reward a perfect mother like you,
Attentive yet encouraging,
Funny and loving,
Sensitive and thoughtful,
Strong and inspiring,
All a mother should be,
And so much more…
And with this poem, I shall end this post with just a phrase.
I love you, mommey, Happy Mother’s Day.
» Filed Under Family & Other Relationships | 2 Comments
